Channel your inner coach
Some tips for CRPs to better observe & respond to speller movements
Note: I am not an Occupational Therapist (but I am a huge fan of OTs who do a good job of supporting apraxic bodies!). What I share here is based on my own experience and observations, both as a practitioner and CRP (Communication Regulation Partner) myself and as someone helping others learn to be CRPs.
Think back to when you’ve had to learn a new physical skill. A new sport or exercise? Driving? Playing an instrument? Handling a piece of equipment in the kitchen or workshop? Visual art?
It probably felt pretty awkward. Your body had to learn new ways of moving, and your brain had to learn new ways of connecting with your body. There probably was some emotion involved, too. Frustration. Impatience. Maybe even fear or hopelessness or some other type of anxiety. And, of course, positive emotions, such as excitement and pride and enjoyment.
This is what you are going through as a new CRP, and also what your speller is going through as they work to pick up spelling with you. And for them, they are not only having to learn a new skill - they are having to learn a new skill in a body that is challenged by apraxia. And it’s not just a new hobby that they’re learning; it’s a pathway to the human right to communicate, to finally being able to express themselves directly with you. So, it’s a physical and mental challenge full of huge emotions. They need you to support them in all aspects of this.
So, I’d like to suggest that CRPs try out the mindset of being the speller’s coach, just as if the speller were working on any other intensely physical skill like, say, running track or doing gymnastics or playing tennis. Now, I don’t mean the old-school type of coach who is aggressive and motivates athletes with fear and pushes them too hard. I mean a coach who genuinely wants the athlete to thrive in all sense of the word, who is observing how the athlete practices and performs and analyzes how to best guide the athlete toward improving.
And I also don’t mean to suggest that the speller is “learning” from you; if they’ve worked with a practitioner, they’re already more experienced at spelling than you are, so in many senses they are *your* teacher. But because their bodies still need a lot of support to stay focused and build accuracy with each new CRP, I still think it can be helpful to think of yourself in the role of a sports coach (or dance teacher or personal trainer, etc., whatever resonates with what you know)!
How can you do that? I have some ideas:
1. Relate
Again: remember a time when you were learning a new skill, and it felt awkward and challenging and maybe even discouraging at times. Understand that this is what your speller is going through. It is a LOT of work for them. Appreciate and acknowledge this.
Also, understand that you, too, are learning a new skill - juggling the 3 boards, following along with the letters, jumping from holding the board to writing, observing the speller while also keeping track of what they’re spelling, helping the speller stay regulated, etc. It’s also a LOT of work for you. So know that you, too, might grow overwhelmed or frustrated, or even discouraged, and this is because you are working on something that is complex and new to you.
Both of you will build your competence and confidence in your respective skills with good practice over time! In the meantime, be patient and kind to yourselves.
A good coach will appreciate the complexity involved in learning their sport, and will know that a new athlete will need time, practice, and useful guidance to develop complex skills. They are not going to expect expert performance from a novice, and they are not going to push the athlete to advance too quickly at the risk of developing bad form or injuries, for example. They meet the athlete where they are, and work - with patience - from there.
2. Reframe
I think many new CRPs (and even experienced ones) can get stuck in some inaccurate assumptions about the speller’s “behavior” and “compliance.” Many of us were raised in an education system that was obsessed with top-down compliance, and we absorbed the misconception that any deviation from compliance is purposeful and the result of a bad attitude.
I’ve seen new CRPs grow frustrated at the speller “not cooperating” and assuming that it means that the speller “isn’t trying,” “doesn’t want to do it,” and “doesn’t like spelling with me.” Of course, there might be cases where this is true. However, in every case that I’ve personally witnessed, this is a major misunderstanding of what the speller is experiencing. I think it’s always helpful to take a step back and remember: the speller probably wants this very, very much (especially if they’re able to spell with their practitioner that yes, in fact, they DO want to spell with their parent or sibling or other CRP). In addition to presuming competence, let’s also presume genuine interest and investment in being able to communicate with a CRP beyond their practitioner.
Let’s also remember: this is HARD WORK for their apraxic bodies! Remember, #1 above: relate to how difficult and complex it can be to learn a new skill - especially if your brain-body connection is challenged by apraxia.
So, putting all of this together: (1) they WANT to spell with you*, and (2) learning a new physical skill is DIFFICULT for apraxic bodies, leads to (3) if they are struggling to spell accurately, it’s because… their body is struggling! It’s not an attitude problem.
Instead of assuming that you’re working with an uncooperative partner, consider the alternative: you’re working with someone who is trying really hard, but needs support and patience and practice. If we scold them or show frustration about their “uncooperative” bodies, we’re just adding to the internal frustration that they’re likely already feeling about their body not doing what they want.
So, instead of assuming the role of “frustrated and disappointed person who the speller has let down,” step up and be the support - the coach - that the speller needs. Don’t add to their frustration. Be the level-headed, thoughtful coach, who helps their athlete work through tough times and frustration, who provides grounding perspective and encouragement, who sees and appreciates the athlete’s efforts while also working to figure out strategies to better help them.
*See this great, short video from Sunrise Therapies on autistic folks and intrinsic motivation
3. Take responsibility
On that note: I see some new CRPs sort of passively put down the board and expect the speller to immediately perform perfectly. There is a sense of expectation, almost like an entitled, demanding energy from the CRP to the speller, like “here’s the board, now spell for me.”
It doesn’t work like that. Remember, this is a partnership. You need to be an active part of the process, observing the speller’s movements and emotional state, prompting to help them stay focused and in the flow, and really growing familiar with how their body moves when they’re spelling. They are not performing for you! You are a team, and your involvement is important. Your practice together will help them build trust in your ability to support their open communication.
A good coach wouldn’t put a new athlete on the field and say, “OK, now go!” without first being an active part of training that athlete. They would have invested time in getting to know their athlete, figuring out how to best guide them toward a higher level of skill and stamina. They would have worked on developing the athlete’s trust in them as someone who can guide the athlete, safely and effectively, to where they need to be.
If your spelling progress as a team isn’t going the way you’d like, your speller needs you to try to figure out possible reasons why, and to implement strategies that might help. They can’t do that alone.
4. Observe
Lately, I’ve been coaching the CRPs I work with to closely observe the speller’s movements. After a couple of spell words and/or questions, I’ll ask them: “What did you observe about how the speller was moving?” That’s what I do as a practitioner, anyway: I’m not just looking at the letterboard and what the speller points to. Most of my attention is actually on how their body is moving (especially eyes, arm, hand/finger, but also their posture), what their energy level and regulation state are, and how all of that responds to different prompts.
Previously, I’d watch the new CRPs spell with their speller, and point out my own observation of the speller’s movement to them. But by having the new CRPs learn to pay attention themselves, I’m hoping that they’ll become more empowered to observe how the speller is spelling in their own, which will help them better understand how to support the speller, especially when I’m not in the room with them!
Common answers include: “I noticed their finger was wavering a lot,” “Their eyes weren’t on the board,” “They poke really fast,” “They seemed to be stuck.”
For each of those observations, there are prompts and exercises that can help the speller build skills to work through those challenges. As you gain experience in observing the speller, analyzing what your observations might mean, and developing a way to respond to those observations (see below), you will become a stronger and more confident CRP. Back to the coach analogy: a good coach will be observing their athletes in practice, and noticing the strengths and weaknesses in the athlete’s skills. Where does their athlete need more support?
Another reason I like this emphasis on observing the speller’s body movements: it helps the CRP stay in the zone. Many CRPs struggle with overthinking, or getting caught up in anticipation or even trying to predict what the speller will say, which makes us tighten up - and the speller can likely sense that anxiety. I sometimes fall into that, even with my brother Danny, although we’ve been fluent together for 4.5 years. By taking a deep breath and refocusing on what his body is doing (I often just focus on his finger), I can quiet my overactive mind and get into the focused, calm headspace that Danny needs me to be in.
I love this video of Tibetan Buddhist Master Mingyur Rinpoche (below), who talks about meditation as a way to train our “monkey minds.” Our busy minds keep going, going, going like busy monkeys, but when we meditate, we give our monkey mind something to focus on - and then they can be more still and calm. Similarly, closely observing your speller’s movements will give your overactive monkey CRP mind something to purposefully focus on, so that you’re less distracted.
5. Respond
Once you learn how to observe your speller’s movements, you can formulate thoughtful responses to their movement that help them gain better accuracy. Like a coach, you work out strategies to help your athlete build specific skills and practice specific movements. These could be specific prompts and modifications of your voice and tempo during spelling, and these could also be off-the-board exercises or drills that you practice together as a warm-up. These could also relate to creating a more comfortable setting for your speller, for example, if you’ve noticed that they tend to find a certain stimulus in their environment to be distracting, or that they’re having trouble maintaining their posture in a specific chair, or that perhaps they’d benefit from having sensory input (e.g., a weighted lap pad) to help them keep their bodies focused.
Your practitioner can help you come up with these, and likely has had to develop strategies already with the speller. OTs are an excellent resource, as well, for coaching specific motor skills. As you learn from your practitioner, OT, etc., try to build your own confidence and creativity in responding to your speller’s movements.
6. Cheer them on!
A good coach doesn’t just observe, analyze, and train their athletes. They also cheer them on! I’ve found that encouragement prompts (“you got this!”, “stay with it!”, “trust yourself!”) can be remarkably effective at supporting a speller's accuracy and stamina.
I’ve also found that, if the speller needs support staying “in the flow” and getting all the way to their chosen letters, it’s often helpful if I cheer them on as if I were watching an athlete perform a difficult feat or make that last sprint toward the finish line. So, this means prompting with an energetic voice, with a combination of positive, confidence-boosting words and specific motor prompts (“you got this! get alllll the way to the letter! get your body there! stay with it! you can do it!”). That said, I also pay attention to make sure I’m not overstimulating the speller, and if I am, I tone it down (usually, by using a quieter voice).
Conclusion…
I did write this in a little bit of a scattered headspace, so it doesn’t feel as organized or compelling as I’d like. But I hope it’s helpful, even so! I will work on putting together more brief pieces so that you don’t need to read whole essays, but I just wanted to get these thoughts out there for now.
Again, the idea is NOT to be the authority figure (boss, teacher, overly intense and competitive coach) of the speller. When I say “be your speller’s coach,” I don’t mean that you are the main expert and the speller is only learning from you. You two are working together in partnership, but they need particular help with coordinating their body movements and staying regulated. That’s your role and responsibility, and it’s in that context that the coach analogy is applied. And good coaches learn from the athletes they work with, just as you’ll learn a lot from observing your speller and working together to better support their bodies.
I’d love to hear any thoughts from CRPs on whether this “coaching” mindset is helpful to you. And if it isn’t, I’d love to hear why not!
Tara, thank you for putting this out there! (I also loved your deep water diving metaphor essay too! Congratulations btw!) I found this essay so helpful and am excited to implement these tips with my speller. 💜